adulting anxiety career confidence decisions depression Finance happiness health mental health relationships struggles Uncategorized work

Living the simple life

I think as we grow older…we get simpler..when we were young our dreams are so specific, unrealistic and most likely to cause more harm than good…

Being an immature kid, I would dream to be something that I was passionate about. I loved comics, writing fan fiction and drawing.. I was obviously going to be a manga-artist when I grew up! That was my ideal dream..doing something that I actually liked and enjoyed..that is the life… at least that’s what I thought would be the ideal life back then.

But as I went through school…I learnt that things for artists weren’t so great..it would be hard…you would be stressed..you would be pressed upon both sides…the article about the suicide of the hard working anime creators in Japan who overworked themselves to death…I just wanted to take what seemed to be the easy way in life…do what will give you a job and not what you love. With that mindset I dropped out of graphic design half a year in..not sure what step I should do next..I went to my second love, languages…in particular..Japanese language.

Then the doubts and my family around me told me, it will be hard to be a Japanese teacher if you aren’t even Japanese! You won’t be enough, you will never be enough.. //Cue Loren Allred- “Never Enough song” Here// ..with my doubts and the negativity weighing upon my shoulders..I decided to play it safe – to do a course I didn’t really want to do …but in the hopes it would get me a good job and a stable income …I did it..and I stuck with it…because at that time my Grandma (now passed on RIP), just told me…just do anything…it might not be what you want to be in the end..but just finish something! just complete at least one degree…under your belt…and I THINK then you can do anything.. Something like that.. well that’s how I interpreted it.

 

My grandma sadly passed away while I was doing my pharmacy degree..the day before a test ..actually.. Sometimes I am not sure if I want to thank her or resent her for me sticking with Pharmacy. I hated working in pharmacy…studying it was okay…and interesting..but in the real world..I hated it.. I loathed it. It made me depressed. It made me question my life choices and I was scared that I was trapped into something for life.

I forgot, that one decision that you made doesn’t shape and path the way for the rest of your life. Maybe it was that way in the past, but right now, in this age..we are given choices. We are given options…yes it may be hard, yes it won’t happen when you want it to and in the way you want it to. But I really do believe that if you choose to change your path, no matter how small or big from the one that you currently hate…you will head closer and closer to where you want to go. //insert a acute triangle here//

If you choose to stay on the same path…all you will do is keep complaining, keep dreading each day and keep wondering if it could be something else…is there more to life? //cue that song that goes “There’s gotta be more to life…dundundundun…more to life” // . Where was I again? You just got to take that first step, then the second and just keep going…I can’t promise you that it will be easy, But I can promise you that it will scary, exciting and it will lead you to where you want to go. If it wasn’t the right path, remember you can change again. No one said it was A to B. but it could be A to Z to W to X to F to J to O to Y to B. See what I did there? No one’s path is the same…so you don’t need to compare the path you are taking to the one those around you are.

You are you.

This is more so a message for myself than for anyone else. I am still trying to get to B, I am not where I want to be ..but thank God I am not where I used to be..

Peace and … J o y to the You ….<3.

 

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