Sometimes we tell ourselves things have to be a certain way or we won’t be and can’t be happy. People with OCD will understand what I mean…
This is an extremely unhealthy and unproductive way to think.
We tell ourselves things like, “If only I get that job or promotion, then I will be happy” , “If only that girl/guy liked me then I could be happy“…If only …[insert desire thing here]…then I would be happy…:(
How long is your “happy” feeling going to last anyway?
We are basically just setting ourselves up for failure…with the thinking that we wont ever be “happy” until something we desire happens…Does that mean we are just going to be “unhappy” until we get that thing?
Why do people desire this temporary feeling of happiness? It is such a fleeting, fickle moment in time that simmers down and disappears in a matter of hours, days or maybe if we are lucky weeks.
As I think they say in physics, that if something goes up, then it must also come down.
After we get desired happiness, we are at a limbo…are we happy now? Are we content? Probably not…you probably already found something else to crave for/desire…
Having black and white thinking about our dreams, goals and ambitions is not a good thing..instead we should thinking of them as shades of grays.
Yes, it is good to have these dreams, goals and ambitions, but we shouldn’t let these things determine whether we are happy people. How about we aim for that goal, but if we don’t reach it we can still be content that we are not where we used to be?
Just because that job that you got didn’t turn out to be what you thought it would be, the relationship that you were so sure would end in marriage; ended breaking up, even if you took an entrance exam three times and failed every time…. it doesn’t mean that you failed… it doesn’t mean you cannot be happy now.
Hey, be content. You have not reached your destination yet, but why not enjoy the journey? Who knows, you may even find a different path that is even greater than the one you had pictured for yourself. Things don’t have to be black and white, they can be grey. Be kind to yourself, give yourself permission to be happy now…enjoy the journey, because this journey is life long.
Happiness doesn’t fall upon you. It’s something that you actively have to choose to be, strive for, and work for. It is being aware that everything isn’t great now, but that you can be still content with where you are and know that you are going somewhere among the storm we call life.
Try live life with a bit of grey in it.