adulting adversity anxiety career change clean cleaning coronavirus Covid-19 Apocalypse life New Ventures pandemic

Being the perfect law abiding citizen

I’ve been think lately about why I am so afraid to break the rules. I’ve always been so afraid of being found out…of being guilty…and being called “A Bad Girl”- (No kink intended here…).

In Cantonese, the word for obedient was “Gwai”. (sounds like that)…and I loved being called a “Gwai Low” or “Obedient daughter”. I’ve always been afraid of getting hit by my parents for being naughty. I grew up with migrant Asian parents in which the norm was to hit their children when they were naughty…Is this why I am so afraid of breaking the law? Breaking the rules? And hence why I was so obedient to all the lock down restrictions? Or is it because I know the consequences of not following the rules? I saw a facebook Meme about how that people with lower intelligence tend to not follow the lockdown restrictions because they do not understand what ‘Social Distancing is’.

Maybe, it is because I am a health professional working in a hospital in which the use of PPE, gloves, and googles are the norm? I crave for freedom as much as the next person, but not at the expense of spreading this disease.

I think I am too hard on myself sometimes…It is okay not to be perfect. No one is perfect 100% of the time. It’s not ideal to make mistakes or break the law unintentionally…but it will happen… and just pray that the police didn’t catch you :o.

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