Lilly looked at the photo…contemplating whether she should request to match with him. He was so good looking…he could easily pass off as a celebrity, a rock star, or a model of some sort. There was no way he would be interested in a plain, boring, average looking girl like me. Heck, Lilly thought…What do I have to lose anyways? There was only a limited amount of match requests you could do each day, but more often than not she never used them up. She wanted a relationship, but at the same time she was too tired and lazy to put much effort into it. Lilly felt relationships were so hard to maintain. Her last relationship was probably over 4 years ago? That ended pretty badly and she still had dreams that haunted her showing alternate endings to her relationships. It was like an unhealed trauma that left her feeling hesitant to believe in love again.
As a teenager, Lilly believed love was something that she felt certain she would never experience…She was never one of those popular pretty girls back in high school and no guys had every asked her out…and if they did it was as a joke. Back in high school Lilly had crooked teeth, acne, glasses, and was super self-conscious about showing any skin at all. Her secondhand high-school skirt was almost down to her feet and she always wore long sleeved shirts no matter how hot it was outside. She didn’t think any guy would ever be interested in her….not until she was able to transform herself into who she was now. She had gotten braces during University, finally managed to be brave enough to get contact lenses, and she slowly outgrew her acne. She had grown more confident in her body as she started to work out at the gym, followed fashion bloggers, and learnt how to style her hair and do basic make up…she looked nothing like her old self, yet despite her appearance changing, her confidence in herself and finding true love was dim.
Lilly was afraid. Afraid that the other person would find out what kind of person she really was. Without all the make up, the facade that she tried to put up. She felt she was just an ugly duckling that was pretending to be a swan…Dating was about pretending to be a perfect swan to attract a mate. WOW. When was life so primal? She believed guys were shallow, they just went for pretty, slim, and cute girls. Then again, she felt she was shallow too…she also went for handsome, tall, and fit guys…She too was not attracted to guys who didn’t look after themselves. Too bad most of those handsome guys turned out to be pricks who only wanted one thing. Sex. But she wanted more than that, she wanted a connection, a relationship, and maybe a husband…dating in this time and age was really really HARD.
Well whatever, Lilly thought, it’s time to sleep. Lilly was about to head off to sleep when the a notification flashed across the screen of her phone…”Hiroshi has sent you a message”…